Ask for Help

When you think about how to love yourself, asking for help might not be the first thing that comes to mind. Yet it’s one of the most powerful steps on the journey. Many of us grew up being praised for our independence, for being strong, sensible and capable, for holding everything together. Somewhere along the way, we absorbed the message that asking for help was a weakness.

But it isn’t.
It’s courage.

It takes deep self-awareness to say, “I can’t do this alone,” and even more strength to receive the help that’s offered.

We Thrive Through Connection

As human beings, we are wired for connection. We weren’t built to do everything alone. Connection, belonging, and support are vital human needs, not indulgences.

When you allow someone to help you, you’re not burdening them; you’re creating a space for reciprocity. People want to help because giving feels good. It’s a natural exchange of energy that nourishes both sides.

When we refuse help, we block that flow. We end up exhausted, out of balance, and quietly resentful, wondering why no one supports us when, in truth, we’ve made it hard for them to do so..

How to Love Yourself by Learning to Receive

Self-love isn’t just about being kind to yourself. It’s about letting yourself accept support.

If you tend to give, give, give, notice where that comes from.
Do you fear that others will see you as weak?
Or guilt for taking up space?

Receiving is an essential part of balance. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you can’t truly give from the heart unless you also allow yourself to receive.

Journal Prompts:

• What messages did I learn growing up about asking for help?
• Do I tend to reject help when it’s offered?
• Why?
• How does it feel when I do everything on my own?

Activity:

🕊️ This week, identify one small task where you could use help. Perhaps asking a colleague to share the workload, letting a friend cook for you, or accepting an offer of support without apologising. Asking for help is not weakness, it’s a declaration that you are human, connected, and worthy of support.

• When someone offers help, pause, breathe and say yes.
• Notice what happens inside you when you receive it.
• Then journal about how it felt to ask and to receive.

🌿 Catch Up on Previous Steps in the 12-Step Journey

If you’ve missed any of the earlier steps, you can catch up here:

• Step One: Stop All Criticism: How to recognise and soften your inner critic.
• Step Two: Forgive Yourself: The healing power of letting go.
• Step Three: Stop Scaring Yourself: How to calm your catastrophic thinking.
• Step Four: Be Kind and Gentle with Yourself: How to practicing self compassion.
• Step Five: Be Kind to Your Mind: How to stop negative thinking with affirmations.
• Step Six: Praise Yourself: Discover why self-praise matters.

Next time, we’ll explore Step Eight.

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✍️ Learn how to start to journal: Enrol on my mini course ‘How to Journal for Mental Health’ HERE.

👉 Download your FREE Self-Love Affirmations here

👉 Download your FREE Feelings Wheel here

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